Rich People Conversations: Ranking the 10 best opponent reactions after giving up a homer
The coronavirus is here. You might as well read about baseball.
Baseball is a contextualizing sport. Spring training means the cold weather is almost gone and patio brunches are around the corner. Pink bats mean Mother’s Day, blue armbands mean Father’s Day and, well, okay, I don’t know what these mean.
And last week, news that Major League Baseball was suspending the season made it clear that Coronavirus (COVID-19) was more than a punchline. For many people, it was clear that the virus was a major problem well before then, but this act by MLB cemented that fact. It put it in context. Aside from a strike in 1994-95, this hasn’t happened in our lifetimes, and we had to come to grips with that. COVID-19 became real.
In a surprising turn of events, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred made the right decision when he suspended the season. COVID-19 is a pandemic. We can’t get around that fact. But we can get through it.
Rich people conversations are the way we’ll get through this as a global community. Both in terms of our leaders making strong decisions for the betterment of humanity, but also this here newsletter.
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If there’s one good thing to come from COVID-19, it’s that Rich People Conversations will get funky early and often, as you’ll see in the next section of today’s edition. Our on-deck circle is full of drafts, reviews and analysis. We might even have some profiles and play some games. There may not be baseball, but there will be content. Our newsletter is set on toilet paper, is what I’m saying.
Before we get goofy, though, a few serious words: wash your hands. Listen to your body. Spend more time on your own for a while. Take the advice of the CDC and your state’s department of health. Remember that even if you don’t feel sick, it doesn’t mean you won’t get others sick. We’re going to get through this, but it’s going to take time. Don’t worry; we’ll help you get through it.
If I had a therapist, they would probably say this is escapism and I should confront my concerns. That's probably true. But that's baseball, isn't it? At it's best, baseball let's you throw away the bad for a few hours and embrace moonshots and diving catches. It's escapist art and until it comes back, Rich People Conversations will be that, too.
Now let’s get weird together.
~Jake Schultz
Should we do a bracket of all the Brewers-Twins newsletters?
Oh wait, we won?
~All of us
Ranking the 10 best opposing reactions to Brewers home runs in 2019
~Curt Hogg
(If you’re viewing this in your e-mail and images and GIFs aren’t loading, try visiting the page on your browser)
The Milwaukee Brewers hit 250 home runs during the 2019 regular season. That’s no Bomba Squad total, but it’s still a healthy chunk of saunters around the bases (save for you, Ben Gamel, and your lone inside-the-parker. That was no saunter. We didn’t forget about you.).
Without any real baseball for the foreseeable future, I figured I would do something like ranking the 10 top Brewers homers from a year ago. I started watching video of every single homer (shoutout Baseball Savant) and got through a few when a far more ridiculous idea struck.
Rank the best opponents’ reactions to those dingers.
It’s a top-ten Ridiculous Way To Spend Seven Hours thing I’ve ever done. Welcome to social distancing 2020.
I’m calling it the Shaun Marcum Tribute Project.
It’s pretty self-explanatory, but here are a few notes before we get started.
Not every homer comes with a clear reaction shot that gets picked up by TV. I was also looking up clips on Baseball Savant, which has both broadcasts available but only in typically 20-30 second highlight clips.
There were surely some great reactions that just didn’t get picked up; in a way, this is “best camera work after a Brewers homer” competition.
You didn’t come here for explainers or caveats, though.
You came here for dingers.
I will now give you dingers.
The honorable mentions
Here’s the moment Yu Darvish decided he was going to hint on Twitter that Christian Yelich was cheating
Jerry Blevins bends the knee
Whatcha got there, Jose Quijada?
It’s no secret that lots of pitchers use an illegal foreign substance. But, come on, Jose Quijada, couldn’t you put in at least a little more effort to not make it incredibly obvious?
The top ten
10. The Sean Doolittle Montage
The Brewers had many Capital-M Moments in 2019, but you could make the case for the offense’s ninth inning ambush of National closer Sean Doolittle on August 17 as being the most exhilarating.
Trailing by three going into the ninth inning of an already-wild game that apparently ordered five more double shots of very cheap liquor before Doolittle took the mound, Milwaukee went Yelich homer--Hiura double--Moustakas homer--Braun homer to open the inning and take the lead in a matter of about five minutes.
None of Doolitte’s reactions alone stood out. In fact, he could have had absolutely no reaction at all and still would have made this list. That’s what happens when you give up three bombs in four hitters to blow a save. Them’s the rules.
The Brewers would go on to win, 15-14, in 14 innings after Josh Hader blew a save, then miraculously escaped further damage, Yelich hit a go-ahead homer, the Nats tied the game again thanks to a Hiura throwing error, Thames hit the team’s third go-ahead homer in a five-inning span and Junior Guerra barely hung on from there.
9. The Bad Words
Simple yet concise.
Joe Musgrove and Matt Strahm share this spot for having incredibly similar reactions after Jesus Aguilar and Mike Moustakas provided baseballs with a Get Out Of Jail Free card.
**HANGER ALERT**
8. Is...is Steven Matz happy?
(The day of this homer was a very bad, no good afternoon for Wisconsin sports. (Quick tangent: is this current world where we having no sports that bad? No sports equals no heartbreak, after all.*)
The Bucks had just suffered a series-ending loss to the Celtics in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference semif--wait, hold that thought for a sec. I’m being told that Paul Pierce was incorrect and that the series wasn’t over after that game--and the Brewers eventually lost after Ben Gamel misplayed a fly ball that led to the go-ahead run scoring in the 7th. Also Yelich left the game injured and missed a week.
But, for a moment, as Moustakas tied the game off Mets starter Steven Matz, everything was better.
Matz kind of even seemed elated for Moose. If you were to show me Matz’s reaction from without context, I’d probably assume he struck the hitter out.
Matz, of course, was probably not happy and likely said some four-letter words that we cannot repeat.
This is a family newsletter.
*After further consideration, sports should come back at some point, actually.
7. House of Pain
Look, If Yasmani Grandal is allowed to pimp his moonshots, I’m allowed to celebrate when a section header comes together exquisitely.
Guys, I am so pleased with this header. So, so pleased. (You’ll see why in a bit.)
Someone named Geoff Hartlieb (seriously, that’s his name) served one of the best hitters an absolute meatball and Yelich did what was only just and crushed it like it was one of those tropical punch Capri Suns your friend’s mom would have waiting for you after your Little League game.
To tie the homer and the headline together, I present to you my Mona Lisa.
6. I’ve been the Archer
I’ve been the archer
I've been the prey
Who could ever leave me, darling?
But who could stay?
(“Time Warp” lyrics would have also been accepted for this dinger.)
5. Up the Crick Without a Paddle
You may have noticed a large percentage of these homers have come against Pittsburgh Pirates pitchers. This leads me to two thoughts in particular.
Thought A: That makes sense. The Pirates were bad!
Thought B: Why are so many Pirates pitchers’ reactions so animated? They’re bad! They give up lots of dingers! They should be used to this!
Introducing Kyle Crick, noted Soviet dancer.
4. Justin Verlander is going out for track and field
2019 American League Cy Young, meet Yasmani Grandal, dropper of bats.
The amount of ground covered by Verlander is here is simply outstanding. My guy’s trail foot is about even with the middle of the rubber when he takes flight. The mound is 18 feet in diameter, so he’s gotta be clearing at least eight feet with that long jump.
(Also, in case you forgot, the Astros cheated the entire way to winning a World Series.)
3. Mike Mayers has seen a ghost
Poor Mike Mayers.
The Brewers and Cardinals were tied at 6-6 in the sixth inning on April 15. Mayers had just given up a single to Grandal and walked Lorenzo Cain with one out. Up to the plate gallivanted one Christian Yelich, who, as we have previously astutely observed, is a Good Hitter™. Mike Mayers should not have been left in to face Yelich.
But this is Mike Shildt (who somehow won Manager of the Year last season???) we’re talking about, and he allowed his young right-hander to try to develop some character and get out of his own jam.
Folks, some character might have been developed, but the jam was definitely not escaped.
Yelich sent a moonshot to right on an elevated fastball to give the Brewers a reverse-nice 9-6 lead. Mayers did not appear to be having a good time.
Yelich, of course, would hit a third homer in the game later. The next day he deposited another homer which yours truly caught.*
2. Brad Peacock is overcome with The Sadness
I don’t really even know what makes this so amazing, but I can’t stop watching it. The way Brad Peacock droops his head as soon as Travis Shaw starts to drop it is incredible. It’s almost perfectly in sync. Peacock is just so disappointed in himself. Not even mad. Just disappointed.
When 2019 Travis Shaw has pulverized a baseball you threw 440 feet, this is how you should respond.
No, this isn’t a pitcher reaction. It’s even better.
Step 1: Have your $43 million closer enter with a lead, give up a bomb to Yelich, walk Tyler Saladino (I REPEAT: TYLER SALADINO) and then cap it all off by yielding a walk-off oppo laser shot to your division rival’s rookie slugger.
Step 2: Ponder what you’ve done.
